THE ADVICE BOOK

Thanks to everyone that helped with the book! I am giving it to Glade on SAT. I thought some of you may be interested in reading some of the other things given via email and letters. Thanks again for taking an interest in GLADE! (Note it is a little jumbled because of the form it was in, but I think you can figure it out!)

TODD SAID:
1. Have fun! Never again will your life be so care free. Take the few responsibilities you have seriously but enjoy not being tied down.
2. Learn all you can. The more you learn now the less you have to cram later. Along with this make sure you get the best grades possible without cheating.
3. Have friends that are girls but not a “girl friend”. Trust me on this one, your priorities on what is important in a girl friend will change a lot between now and when you are ready to get married.
4. Get involved. The more activities you do the more fun you will have.
5. Be nice to EVERYONE! A lot of the best friends you make will be those you may not have wanted as a friend initially. Even those people who are not nice to you will treat you better if your nice to them.
JEFF SAID:
1. Choose friends that have the same standards and values that you have and be the kind of friend to others. I would not worry about trying to be popular or the center of attention Looking back, that just does not matter.
2. Don’t be a follower. Do what you know is right even it goes against the crowd. This is a lot easier to do if you choose good friends.
3. Learn all you can and develop good study habits and get good grades. This will benefit you more than any talent you may develop in sports.
4. Work. I feel that one of the greatest things that I learned was how to work and earn money for what I wanted. I see so many people that have no idea what it means to be a good employee and to work hard. A person that knows how to work is hard to find and if your are that person, you will always be able to find a job.
JUANITA SAID:
Glade,
My birthday is April 28, 1951. I was a teenager: April 28 1964-1970. I wish I had know as a teenager what I know now:
Choices I made as a teenager were important because those choices set the course of my life.
Looking back, I wish I had formed good habits in those days. The things that looked like fun were not always the best for me (my life would have been easier and I would not have to look back with regrets and work on changing bad habits).
I did not go to church often during teenager years because it was not “cool” in my teen social group. I am thankful that I did choose better later.
CRYSTAL SAID:
There is one thing I would tell myself, if I could be a teenager:
HAVE COURAGE
COURAGE is what is needed to try something new, to speak out when it goes against what everyone else is doing, and to talk to someone about the Gospel. It take courage to not follow the crowd in drinking, fowl language, and other bad behaviors. It takes courage to stand up for what you believe in and defend what is right.
Todd (cont.)
6. DRIVE SAFELY! Learning to drive is great but one careless moment can end your life or worse yet, another life. Never get in a car with someone who has been drinking even if you think they are not drunk.
7. Play sports but realize it is just for fun. Even the best kids you play with will not be professional athletes- in fact, the may not even play beyond high school.
8. Listen to your parents. You will one day say, “I wish I had listened to mom and dad, they warned me this would happen.”
9. Learn now to WORK HARD. No natural ability will get you as far as hard work. Every employer you ever have will be more concerned with how hard you work than what you can naturally do.
10. Believe you can do and be anything you want, because you can. Never let anyone else tell you that you can’t do something. Your are only limited by what you think you are. REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN!



Crystal cont:
Most importantly, even with the best intentions, you are going to make mistakes: HAVE COURAGE to say sorry and face up to consequences no matter how difficult they may be and to ask for forgiveness of those you have offended and your Heavenly Father. Have the COURAGE to tell your parents if you are in a bind. They love you and want to help you especially when you are in trouble and you need help the most.
Someone once said, “It takes a lot of COURAGE to be a “chicken”. When the teasing starts and you feel yourself loosing your will power- take action- open your mouth and say how you feel. People will respect you in the long run for right decisions.
(Jeff cont.)
5. Live to have no regrets. Always look at the consequence of your actions before you do anything. If you would look back and wish that you had done something, do it. Don’t wait and hope that you will have another chance.
6. Prepare now to serve a mission. I have not listed these in order of importance or this would be #1. I can say without any question that I would not be what I am or have accomplished all that I have if I had not served a mission. This is a defining event in a young mans life and will be even more meaningful if your are prepared to serve when you are old enough.
7. Have fun. Do things that you enjoy. You have more opportunities to do what you want now than at any other time in your life. Take advantage of the opportunities that arise and have fun. Get involved in worthwhile activities and events.
I am sure that are many other things that I would say to myself looking back. I hope this helps.


GAYLYNN SAID:
Glade,
As a teenager, I know it is hard but always take your parents advice because they were teenagers too. Always have good esteem and never give in to temptation. Always make friends that have good standards and will lift you up. Don’t do any drugs or alcohol because that will only bring you down. Stay close to the Spirit. You are so smart and so good at many things. Keep having extracurricular activities because that will keep you busy and not any time to do things wrong. Choose your friends wisely. I didn’t and that is why I turned out the way I am. Please always be someone for Jordan to look up to because he always tells me about what a good person you are. I love you and I know you will succeed at everything you do, so choose the right.
Actually just don’t do anything I did and you will be ok.
GRANDMA EVELYN SAID:
Listen to your parents- they will not lead you wrong. Have good friends don’t run with the wrong crowd. Go to church with mom and dad. Have something to do.
GRANDMA MINT SAID:
Have a reason to get up every morning. No reason to worry about getting older; everyone else is getting older too.
ROGER SAID:
What I would have done different when I was a teenager:
1. I would have made it at priority to excel in school, so I would have had a much easier job when I was grown.
2. I would have saved every penny I made or was given and I would have invested it wisely.
3. I would never followed other boys just because I thought they were cool.
4. I would have been the most kind and courteous boy.
5. I would like everyone, not just the best looking and most talented people.
6. I would have served my Heavenly Father in good times and bad.
(Juanita cont.)
I did not know then how important education is and I did not realize I could
choose a good education to get a good job. (I am thankful that I did choose better later).
I did not value family and family times together because they were not “cool”; I did not know then that family time together would be cherished time that I would look back and appreciate ( I wish I had paid more attention to family time together and have realized that time lost is irretrievable).
I wish I have viewed every choice every day to be able to say: “no regrets.” I now base my decisions on this: will I look back and regret this choice? Now, many times I do things that are hard to do today because I know I will be happy with myself tomorrow and in future times because of good choices I make today.
Love, Grandma Harman
(Juanita Harman)

GLADE IS TURNING 13!!!!!

I know I cannot believe it, but Glade is going to be a teenager. For his birthday I wanted to do something special from family that love him.

Please answer this question: if you could give your teenage self some advice, what advice would you give?

I am going to make a book with every one's comments. I would like to put photos of everyone when they were teenagers for him to see if you have one you could send.

I am excited to see you comments and will let you know his reaction to the book. I hope it will something he looks at when he needs a little pick me up over the next few years.

FAVORITE QUOTE

"President Ezra Taft Benson said:"The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature."

I think this is what is wrong with our country today. You cannot hand people money and expect them to be responsible until they have learned to be responsible. It is easier just to throw money at individuals. Imagine if it had been more of teaching a trade than handing out money. I do not think we would have the same problems we have today.

WHAT IS IT?

I looked out on my deck to find an old mop or faux fur left on the table. It is actually our dog in the winter time. In the spring, we shave him down to nothing and you really cannot tell it is the same dog. This is the time that he really starts to look like a walking rug.

MY PORCH

I have never liked anything that I have put on my porch. I think I have finally found a combo I like. I have painted this old bench my mother gave to me 10 years ago a fun green. Behind it is a washer that Todd's grandmother used to actually wash clothes. Finally a latter that I picked up in an antique store that has been in the house for years. I can add flowers to the washtub in the summer and pine in the winter. I also can hang different things on the latter for a little seasonal change. This is my valentine look.

NO TOOTSIE ROLLS PLEASE

Every time RIVER goes to Wal-mart RX, the staff is so nice and gives him candy, cookies, etc. On this day a tootsie roll was produced and River worked on it all the way home. On arriving home the tootsie roll was gone- I will let you decide where it went.

THE LIVING ROOM RESULTS

Thanks to your advice, my living room sofa table is solve. The easiest solution- paint the lamp to break up the black and replace the shade. Thanks for your help and I am happy with the results!

RIVER'S CONTINUED MUSICAL SKILLS

Not only the flute, RIVER is looking to improve in his stage (or basket) dancing abilities.

BEING A MOM OF BABY 10 YEARS LATER

There are things better about being a mom of a baby at almost 40 instead of in my 20s- here's a few of them:
BETTER STUFF - car seats with the bases are awesome; as well as the covers that fit perfectly over them instead of a blanket. Toys now are great as well as books more interesting to toddlers. A few other- ultrasounds photos, sippy cups, healthy baby snack food (Gerber graduates fruit snacks and yogurt bites). The list could continue but those are my favorites off the top of my head.
OLDER SIBLINGS- Having a baby with 10 and 12 year old siblings instead of 2 year old siblings has its advantages- older children babysit and entertain better than having a younger sibling to fight and take toys. RIVER does not try to take toys or fight in nursery of day care because he does not have the example at home. I am sure interacting with other children will change that!
OLDER ME- I am definitely more calm and patient with RIVER than I was when the others were younger. I let him feed himself, make larger messes, and take time to let him "help" do things. I was obsessed with things being perfectly clean with the older kids (including them). I see the advantage of letting children do things for themselves as soon as they show interest instead of wanting to do things for them.
LESSONS- We learn a lot from watching RIVER and having him around. It is truly amazing to watch a child learn and put two and two together. GLADE and ABBY see how hard it is to have a child and the sacrifice involved. I hope it will help them make more responsible choices when they get older and have to make important decisions for themselves.

All in all, I would not trade the experience.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"IF YOU LIVE ONE HUNDRED YEARS, I WANT TO LIVE ONE HUNDRED YEARS MINUS ONE DAY SO I NEVER HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU" WINNIE THE POOH